


After The Pain

by FrostyFingers



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-01 19:19:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8634829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostyFingers/pseuds/FrostyFingers
Summary: At first she hadn’t realized, but during the hug it had come to her, that it had been the first time they had touched, ever since he had thought she had 'died'. Set during and after S4E8 Dr. Adrian Shaw: Conclusion, just because I like writing alternative endings and then some.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my goodness I suck, I know! I keep throwing new fics at y'all and never update them - sorrynotsorry. I hope you'll like this one, I have no idea where it's headed, but I'll guess we'll see. Special thanks to Jammequin for proofreading once again.

Red stood in front of the closed door, taking a moment to rub his weary eyes. He was pretty exhausted, but he wanted to see her, he needed to see her. He knew it was the only way he would get any rest that night. He raised a hand and knocked. The door opened only seconds later, not by the person he wanted to see though.

“So it worked?”, the thorn in his side asked.

“Yes,” he replied curtly.

“I'll take that as a ‘thank you’.”

Red side-stepped him and paid little attention to the other man leaving the makeshift apartment. His eyes were trained on the figure standing at the crib, it was so good to see her again; he could already feel his wounded body heal. Then he noticed his fedora on her kitchen island, his heart filling with love at the sight. She turned and he watched her eyes widen in surprise.

“Oh, my God. How did you…” Liz hurried towards him and after just looking at him for a moment, she hugged him tightly to her. His own arms closed around her as he breathed in her sweet scent.

After everything that had happened with her faked death, the kidnapping of her daughter and then her own kidnapping, it was so good to hold her again, to feel her warm and pliant against him.

After a while she pulled back, much to his dismay. “Kirk?”

“Gone.”

“Dead?” She asked.

“Gone,” replied.

“I don't... I don't understand. How did you…"

“It's over,” he interrupted gently. “May I?” He nodded towards the crib, bouncing a little to get a better look at the baby inside, before looking back at her.

He was adorable, she noted, his enthusiasm for the little girl made her heart beat just a little faster. With a smile she went to pick up the baby and then walked back to where he was standing, the fedora back on her kitchen counter. Red was close to vibrating with excitement now and it was almost too much. Ever so gently she placed the infant in his waiting arms, watching how he handled Agnes with the utmost care but also with the finesse a father had.

“Mm. Come here. Come here. Yes.” He cuddled the baby close and sighed contently. “Here you go,” he said softly and Agnes started cooing, making them both laugh.

“You know, I really believed he was my father,” she said after a while.

“You had every reason to.”

“Except for one.” He could feel her looking at him. “You. You told me my father died when I was a little girl. I just... I guess I didn't want to believe it. I really wanted my dad here to see her grow up.”

His heart hurt for her, for the things she would never have. “He would've wanted that, too,” he replied in a low voice, cuddling the now asleep baby just a little closer.

“I think she’s really taken to you. Usually she doesn’t just fall asleep like that.” The smile these words brought him was genuine and bright and she wondered when she had last done something to make him smile like that. “You look tired,” she spoke in a low voice so as not to wake the baby.

The dark circles under his eyes spoke volumes and the color of his skin seemed anything but healthy, he knew that as well. “Yes,” he replied and held the baby just a little closer. “I should go.”

“You should stay,” she spoke quickly this time and his eyes rose to meet hers. “Look, you’re exhausted and there’s a perfectly fine couch two feet away from you. You can lie down for a bit and rest.”

He seemed hesitant to agree, unsure if her question was genuine or out of guilt.

“I’m sure Agnes would like that also.”

He huffed a laugh at the cheap shot, knowing full well that she knew it would hit home. “Alright. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” She squeezed his arm and then reached out. “Here, let me put her back in her crib.”

“What about Tom?” He asked, stalling for a few more minutes with the child in his arms.

“I’m sure he won’t be back for a while.”

Bending his head, Red placed a soft kiss on the infant’s forehead and took a moment to inhale her sweet baby scent, before reluctantly handing the child over. Deeply concentrated on the little girl, he had missed Liz’s eyes watering slightly at the picture in her makeshift living room.

She gently lowered her child back in her bed and then turned to find Red still standing where she had left him, now looking a little out of place. Making her way towards him, she helped him out of his coat and somewhat carelessly threw it on the kitchen counter, ignoring his dramatic facial expression at how badly she treated his possessions.

Red startled when nimble fingers suddenly started working on loosening his belt and he quickly covered them with his. “What are you doing?” He asked slightly out of breath.

Not resisting an eye roll, she pushed his hands away and opened the buckle. “I don’t recall sleeping with a belt being very relaxing. Take off your jacket and button-down while you’re at it.” He stared at her as if she had grown another head. “Do you need help?”

“I’m perfectly fine doing it on my own,” he finally replied and shrugged out of his jacket, before folding it neatly in half and placing it over a chair.

“Shirt next,” she said, rolling up his belt.

He would not let that happen. “I’ll pass this time. It’s a little cold.”

“I’ll get you a blanket, hold on.”

If she was testing his restraints, she was close to making him snap. He quickly kicked off his shoes and lowered himself onto the couch, leaning his head back onto the cushion.

“Hey,” she said softly, touching his shoulder. “Lie down, you’ll be more comfortable.” Liz helped easing him into a lying position, forgetting about telling him to take off his shirt as she covered him with the blanket. “Okay?”

“Perfect,” Red said with a smile, before managing to open his eyes again. “Thank you, Lizzie.”

Her hand stroked over his chest and only moments later he was fast asleep.

She wished he had taken off his shirt upon noticing the drops of blood on the collar. Again he had traded himself for her and ended up getting hurt. He really needed to stop that. Lowering herself on the floor, Liz leaned her back against the couch and took his hand in hers. Looking at it for long moments, she realized how beautiful his hands really were, with specks of blond hair on the back and perfectly manicured fingernails. They were strong, strong enough to strangle someone to death, but they were also soft, cradling her newborn baby or her own face while he wiped tears away from her cheeks. She raised his hand to her lips and placed a soft kiss to the injection wound between his knuckles, hoping to be able to take the pain away.

The man had suffered so much, she just wanted him to have some kind of relief from the pain. She turned the hand over and kissed his palm next, before pulling his arm more snugly around herself, resting his lax hand against her chest. She didn’t know whether it would give him some peace while asleep, but she knew that she would sleep better by his side.  
At first she hadn’t realized, but during the hug it had come to her, that it had been the first time they had touched, ever since he had thought she had 'died'. He hadn’t initiated any contact upon her resurrection, which had worried her at first, but the way he had leaned into her now that they were alone ended any doubts she might have had. She leaned her head back to rest in the crook of his arm, knowing that her neck would not thank her for it later, and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to reach her.


	2. Chapter 2

He woke up to the feeling of thousands of little needles pricking into his arm. His first intention was to move it to shake feeling back into the limb, but not only was almost all of the feeling gone, but he could feel pressure, something wrapped around it. Opening his eyes, it took him a moment to realize where he was and then he saw her. His Lizzie was holding his arm to her chest like a child would clutch their teddybear. The smile sliding across his face couldn’t be helped and his chest swelled with adoration at the sight of her. Her cheek was resting weirdly in the crook of his elbow and her hands were tightly clasped around his forearm. He could feel the warmth of her against his palm, her steady heartbeat and… it was then that he realized that his fingertips were brushing against one of her breasts and he thanked his lucky stars that, for one, she wasn’t awake yet, but also his unconscious self hadn’t squeezed the round globe.

Unsure of how to proceed, Red just stayed put for the moment. Sooner or later she would wake and then untangle herself from his half embrace. As if on cue, Liz shifted, slowly coming back from the land of dreams. She started stretching, but stopped herself, groaning as she felt the kink in her neck. Carefully sitting up, she tried slipping from his arms unnoticed, but soon she found herself eye to eye with a very sleepy looking Red.

“Hey,” she greeted softly, putting his arm back on the couch with a blush.

He held onto her hand for a moment and squeezed, even though his arm was still a little asleep. “Good morning. How’s the neck?”

She clutched at the hurting part of her body and grimaced. “I’m too old to be sleeping on the floor.”

“You really didn’t have to.”

Before she could respond, a wail came from the crib. “Like clockwork,” she said and made her way over. Feeling lazy, Red stayed where he was and merely turned his head to observe his two girls. “Can you hold her for a moment? She doesn't like waiting for her food.” Liz rolled her eyes in mock-exasperation.

“Of course,” he replied immediately and held out his arms.

She grinned knowingly and walked over to him. “Are you gonna sit up?”

“I don’t think so,” he said with a smile.

Liz shook her head, but bent down and put the baby on his broad chest.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he spoke softly and kissed the little forehead. “How did my princess sleep, mhm? Did we have a good rest?”

She had to bite her lip in order to stifle a sob at the sheer cuteness in front of her. It was amazing to see the two of them together and she didn't think she could ever get enough. Turning, she made her way to the kitchen area and started preparing a bottle.

It was then that the door opened and Tom was standing in the room, his face turning sour when he spotted the man on the couch. “What is he still doing here?” Without waiting for a response, he walked over towards them and started picking up Agnes, who began crying immediately.

“Put her back down,” Liz said.

“She doesn't belong with that man.”

“Tom, put her back down, now!”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Liz?” Agnes was crying in earnest now, her little hands pushing against the chest of the one that had disturbed her peaceful morning.

“I’m not asking you again. Leave her where she wants to be.”

With a huff he put the wailing child back down and glared at Red. “Are you happy now?!”

Red, who had refrained to interfere, gently closed his arms around Agnes, stroking lightly over her back. “I will be as soon as you’ve closed that door behind you on your way out.”

Tom turned to Liz, ready to argue some more, when she held up her hand. “Just go.”

“This isn’t over,” he threatened, banging the door shut as he stormed out.

Agnes wailed at the loud sounds, but Red was quick to comfort her, shushing her softly as he brushed his nose over her head. “It’s okay, sweetheart, no need to cry. I, too, dislike being bothered that early in the morning, especially if I haven’t had breakfast yet.” It didn’t take long for the girl to calm down and soon she was merely hiccuping from time to time. “There you go, my sweet angel.” He kissed her head once more and looked at Liz. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.”

“You know that this wasn't necessary. I would’ve left.”

“But I didn’t want you to,” she quickly replied and then turned back to preparing her daughter’s meal. “Are you hungry?” She asked, trying to steer the conversation away from herself.

Red let her, their relationship was still fragile and he didn't want to upset her any further. “Don’t worry about it. There are some things I need to take care of soon anyway.”

“Oh… if you need to go -“

“I’d like to feed her first, if that’s alright.”

Liz nodded and walked back over to him, watching as he carefully sat up with Agnes in his arms, before reaching for the bottle. He looked like an expert feeding her daughter and Liz felt guilty for being jealous that this wasn’t the first time for him.

“She truly is an angel,” Red spoke softly, his eyes never leaving the child in his arms.

“She can be quite the devil, too.”

“I don’t believe that at all,” he said and nosed the fair hair again. “You could never be anything but an angel, isn’t that right, sweetheart?” In response little Agnes reached out to touch his cheek and Red grinned widely at her.

Liz gently took her from his arms after she was finished eating, praying that she wouldn’t fuss about being taken from the arms of her new favorite person, and quickly burped her, while Red started putting his belt back through the loops.

“How are you feeling today?” She asked, watching him closely.

“Better,” he replied with a smile. “A little sore, but that rest has done wonders for me. Thank you, Lizzie.”

She blushed at his words. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You did more than you had to. Thank you for having me. The two of you were the perfect hosts.”

She shook her head, but couldn’t help smiling at his silliness. “You’re welcome to come over anytime.

“That is very generous of you.” He let the back of his fingers stroke over the baby’s chubby cheek. “If you need anything, just give me a call.” He was giving her space, trying not to pressure her.

“Thank you.”

Red nodded and then leaned closer to kiss Agnes goodbye. “Be a good girl for mommy, alright?” He smiled when she squealed in delight and then quickly kissed Liz’s cheek as well. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay. Be careful,” she added, hating the feeling of panic rising in her chest when she thought about what could happen while he was conducting his business.

“Always.”

LizzingtonLizzingtonLizzington

She picked up on the first ring, holding the phone to her ear, while holding her daughter in her other arm. “You forgot your hat," she said as a way of greeting, eying the item on her breakfast bar.

“Hello, Lizzie,” came his deep voice and she couldn’t stop the smile from spreading over her lips. “And it’s a fedora actually, there’s a difference.”

Agnes was already bouncing on her hip, making excited noises as she had apparently recognized to whom that voice belonged.

“Is that my girl?”

My girl. She loved hearing him say that. “Yes,” she replied. “Seems like you've got another female wrapped around your finger.”

“I’d say it’s the other way around. Give her to me please.”

Liz chuckled. “You know she can’t exactly hold a conversation yet, Red.”

“Humor me, Lizzie.” She did of course and put the phone on speaker, holding it closer to her child.

“She can hear you now.”

“Hello, princess,” he greeted softly and Agnes squealed in delight. “I’m happy to hear you too. How’s my sweet angel this fine afternoon?” Again the girl made her joy known. “Mhm, I agree, the weather is fantastic. I was wondering, if you’d like to be my guest for dinner this evening. You could bring your mother. Does that sound agreeable?” As if she had understood, she bounced in her mother’s arms and made happy noises, clapping her hands. “Wonderful, princess. Let me talk over the details with your mommy, alright? I’ll see you soon.”

“You’re a dork,” she said upon putting the phone back to her ear.

“I was merely conversing with your sweet daughter, Lizzie. There’s nothing wrong with that,” he replied, but she knew he was smiling. “So?”

“Mhm?”

He huffed a laugh. “Would you like to come over for dinner?”

“Oh, so I’m invited as well? I wasn’t sure if you just wanted me to drop her off,” she told him, trying to sound somewhat upset.

“As if I wouldn’t want you with me.” His words warmed her heart and she tried not to blush even though he couldn’t see her. “When can you be here? I can send Dembe to get you.”

“That’s alright,” she interrupted his planning. “I’ll just pack a bag for Agnes and then we’ll be on our way. Should we bring something?”

“Elizabeth, you wound me. As if my guest would have to bring anything to a dinner I invited them to.”

“You know, most people say it’s common courtesy.”

“You don’t need to worry about that at all. I’m happy as long as you’re here.” The silence afterwards was weird and Red scrambled for something to say. He hadn’t mean to let that slip, but sometimes he couldn’t stop himself with her. “Are you sure you don’t want me to send Dembe?”

“We’ll be fine. Thank you though. Give me… twenty minutes?”

“Don’t hurry on my behalf. And give that sweet angel a kiss from me, will you?”  
This time it was her cue to chuckle. “You can do that yourself in a few.” With that she hung up and cuddled Agnes close, the grin on her face getting bigger and bigger. She was looking forward to seeing him and was more than glad that he had called sooner than she had thought he would. Happiness flooded her as she realized that this was his way of forgiving her for what she had done to him. He had dealt with the pain on his own and surely he was somewhat angry still, but in the end his love for her and her daughter won out.


End file.
